Painter of Modern Life

Sorry about the late post, wrote it last week but forgot to post it, because here in Paris I actually never open my computer, life is so nice when you're actually living it!


Anyway...

What a terrific man, Monsieur G. must have been. As I read Baudelaire’s text, all I could think is how much I would like to Monsieur G.’s head, and see life as he sees it.

I believe that the gift of being able to see the world as if each time it was something new, it’s very rare., what he calls in the text, “the genius of childhood”, to me, doing that is a constant battle within myself. Part of me is constantly trying to appreciate every single aspect of life as if every strawberry I eat is a new one that I have never eaten before, but then as I take a bite from it, reality strikes me, my body, my previous sensations tell me that that strawberry is nothing special compared to the others I’ve eaten before.

Here in Paris is easier to live like Monsieur G. because of all the buildings, and historical places, paintings, culture, etc. But to be a “dandy” is an extremely tough thing to do.

Monsieur G. is not much of a surprising man to me in any way, as you study about art you learn that many artists were like him. It’s like they see something you don’t, they know something you don’t, because to capture life and feeling into a painting, book, music, or even film, is a challenge, one must be sensitive to the things around him/her; one must not be scared of what those things might do to him/her, with the feelings something, such as love, might bring. I believe that is why many artists end up killing themselves. When you’re so opened to the environment around you, it’s easy to get lost, too many feelings at the same time is at times too much for only one person.

'What a peremptory order! what a bugle-blast of life! Already several hours of light - everywhere - lost by my sleep! How many illuminated things might I have seen and have missed seeing!'  

I get anxious sometimes when I think of how many books and films I have yet to watch before I die. Monsieur G. felt the way about life itself, but not like me, who looks into the future and imagines how many things I have yet to experience, in love, in my profession... But not him, he was anxious about “common” things he missed, and excited about the things he has yet to see, such as trees maybe, or an ant.

These kind of people can even appreciate sadness, “what a beautiful and most interesting feeling sadness is.”, they might say. I believe it is a beautiful and curious thing, yet the feeling in itself is the opposite, but feeling it is an amazing thing, because it’s better to feel something, than nothing at all.

I hope one day I can be more like him, and less of a “pessimistic” as some would say, I call it “realistic”, yet being realistic is not getting me anywhere compared to people like him, who can appreciate the little things. “He began by being an observer of life, and only later set himself the task of acquiring the means of expressing it.”, I hope that one day I can discover what I’m good at, and express my feelings through it. I most certainly appreciate the ones who have, and blessed us with their art.